Heartbroken

My day started off great. I actually even realized it was great and even told Alex I was having an exceptionally great day. I had a good day at work this morning, did alright on my two tests, and even bought some new shoes.

Not so much anymore. My grandma is in the hospital. And she isn't just some distant relative I see on the holidays and barely talk to. She is like my second mom. Sometimes I felt like she was more of a mom to me than my own mother. She practically raised me when I was a baby and my mom worked. I call her every week and I used to visit her every week. I would spend every summer with her and we would always go on shopping trips. I tell her almost everything, even things I don't tell my parents. She was the one who first approved of Alex and I living together and made me feel great about it. She planned my engagement party with me and has helped me so much. My heart is breaking. I hope she will be ok... they don't know what is wrong with her. Might have been a stroke, they don't know. I just hope she'll be alright. I feel so bad for not visiting her lately. I just talked to her the other day on the phone. I love her so much and I'm just not ready to let go... not yet. I know she's 81 but I thought she was so healthy... she even cuts her own grass still. I just don't know what to do. Please pray for her. I just got home from the hospital and I didn't get to see her... I hope I will tomorrow.