Moving

Alex and I have decided we no longer want to say at our current apartment. We only paid $100/month due to the fact I had a scholarship but we just can't face the memories. Not to mention we hated the place anyway... horrible neighbors and run-down old apartment to begin with.

So we're moving to a 1 bedroom at a nicer and much safer apartment complex off of Cottage Hill. We used to live in a two bedroom so there will be lots of downsizing and removing clutter. But I think we'll like it a lot more there and will be able to create new, fresh memories. We'll definitely have to budget though. My $7.70/hr paycheck just isn't going to help much. Ugh I NEED A REAL JOB SO MUCH. So we're moving next Friday... super early I know but I'm ready to get out of my parent's house.

My mom is still having a really hard time. Really hard. Cries all the time. I so hope she doesn't have a heart attack because she has been complaining of chest pains. My dad seems to be ok, well, not really... but I guess its much harder for them than for me. Don't get me wrong, I love Michael and felt like I was closer to him than they were... but I guess it is different to lose your brother than to lose your son. They have so much guilt.

The more we replay the night in our minds... and gather information from everyone... the more it seems like maybe Michael was taking drugs or something. Because it would make a lot more sense if that was true. But I would never have thought he would... or ever heard him mention anything about it. He was anti-drug around me, at least. Or we have a theory that maybe he mixed too many diet pills with alcohol and that caused him to go into a rage. They did a toxicology report and we should get the results in a few weeks so I guess we'll know then. I guess, for me, it would be easier to accept if it was drugs. Because if it was, I would know that Michael really was out of his mind and not just completely psycho.

Bonfire

I just got back home from the weirdest party ever. It was a bonfire with Michael's work friend. Except his work friend is like 30-something and lives in a trailer out in Grand Bay. Michael was so drunk he fell in the bonfire... or jumped... whatever.

It makes me seriously question Michael's judgement in friends. One of them I never saw because he was passed out in the trailer! All of them were wasted. His work friend kept saying I was "super hot" and playing with my hair... um awkward. And we had to drive Michael home because he was so out of it. And Heather was there even though Michael supposedly broke up with her. He shouldn't be allowed to drink tequila. Though I did try some moonshine (coconut-flavored) and it was pretty good. So... I'm sorry if this entry doesn't make complete sense.

Alex and I went to Whataburger on the way home. I got some french fries and he got a honey chicken sandwich... which I ate half of. It was good!